Second-Class Applicant

I am in a state of gloomy self-pity. Unable to work for the last six weeks, thanks to being brace-bound following my shoulder dislocation, and having just returned from two weeks vacation, I feel useless and on the verge of an existential crisis. The phrase, “what am I doing?” reverberates throughout my mind about every 20 or 30 seconds and wakes me up a dozen times in a night. I know that as soon as I get my ass in gear and start making a contribution beyond what has lately consisted of lazing on a beach followed by cocktail hour, I will feel much better, but right now, I am in a tizzy, totally agitated by what feels like limbo. For more of what prompted this foray into purgatory, read below about why I feel like a second-class b-school applicant . . .

Unfortunately, because I applied to business school in the last “on a space available basis” round, I face mounting rejections. Boo! I can’t say that I am surprised, because I knew going into this that I would probably not get in due to procrastination (really, beyond my control), but I can’t say that I’m not disappointed. I desperately want to begin my graduate education, and a year delay feels agonizing right now. And frankly, I feel a little slighted over the whole thing, as do most rejects, I am sure. But, here’re my reasons. Soapbox, please.

I believe that I am disadvantaged as an applicant because I only spent about $1,000 applying to business school. That’s two $250 GMATs, three applications at $100-$150 a pop, and maybe about $100 on study books. I did not spend over $1,000 on an expensive prep course, nor did I pay an admissions consulting firm upwards of $5,000 to create my resume, write my essays or interview my recommenders. I also wasn’t able to visit all my schools, but rather had to virtually explore my options. See, I am a freelance writer with two start-up companies. Between my meager investment and the sweat equity that I put into this effort, there wasn’t really anything left. And, I simply can’t justify going thousands of dollars into debt for this. Is that bad? Does that make me a less worthy applicant than the person who was willing to make such a sacrifice, or the suit who socked enough away in the years spent climbing the corporate ladder since college? I don’t think so. I believe that my enterprising spirit rivals all of that, but I’m afraid that business school adcoms may not see it the same way. And, I could be totally wrong. But, in months of researching the process, reading forums and talking to other applicants, it seems that in some respects, you really have to buy your way in. And thus, I am relegated to the second-class applicant pool. And, I probably sound kind of foolish. Really, if the playing field was level, there wouldn’t be any reason to get an MBA in the first place.

Crash

This post will have to be short because I dislocated my shoulder and can’t be out of my brace long enough to really catch up on my blog (can’t type with the brace on). Thankfully, my GMAT was over and my grad school applications more or less complete before I blew out my shoulder. But, it was really just a day or two later, riding high on the completion of so much work, that I went skiing and crashed super hard at the bottom of the headwall on Northstar. Sucks. So, now my ski season is over, and I’m pretty much useless. Can’t really work, definitely can’t ski, so here I am blogging for five minutes, but mostly becoming addicted to The Hills, trying to finish my tax return and cancel all my Japan/Thailand trip plans. But, what can you do? It could always be worse, right?

Busy girl . . .

Happy New Year! Belated, I suppose. My commitment to blogging is lagging recently. But I think I have some good excuses. Let’s see . . . since my last post I have divided my waking hours between work, skiing, skiing work, GMAT study, GMAT exam, holidays and a vacation. I even managed to squeeze in a manicure or two, but even then, I was multitasking, catching up on all the celebrity gossip I could glean from the salon’s selection of girly mags and tabloids in between coats of polish.

Brief respite on the beaches of sunny Santa Barbara.

That said, the next few months will probably prove to be equally as busy. My GMAT score was less than perfect (to say the least), so I plan on studying for a retake, working still and hopefully skiing a little (though a back injury has me sidelined for the moment – the perfect opportunity to catch up on life). I’ve also signed up for a belly dancing class once a week to keep stress down and I don’t plan on being quite as overloaded as I was in November and December. In fact, I’m going to be submitting posts for a new blog called CU Grad Gab, featuring a female graduates of the University of Colorado, all sharing their different perspectives on various topics, based on location, career, etc. It will be a good writing exercise for me. My blog posts will focus on life in the mountains and ski culture. I am trying to think of a name. So far, I have come up with Chair 10, Chairlift Chatter (but, I think this is stupid), Chairlift Confessionals (also, not so great) and a few other corny options. I think I like Chair 10, because that is the number of the Highline chair in Vail that was recently replaced by a high-speed quad. The old chair was the thinking chair. It was slow and wonderful – plenty of time to rest your legs and ponder the intricacies of the always scintillating Vail existence.

I’d also like to work on my children’s stories, read more, watch less TV and plan our trip to Thailand. Yes, Luke and I have decided that our spring destination will be Thailand. As soon as ski season ends and mud season settles in, I hope to be exploring the balmy tropics of SE Asia. It is going to be hot! Very hot – April is actually their hottest month. But, I can’t wait! We are going to relax on the beach, explore Thai temples, play with elephants and gorge ourselves on Pad Thai and mangos with sticky rice.

The next few months are going to be action packed, that’s for sure. Grad school applications, skiing, vacations, work, etc. I must confess that I’ve been fantasizing about blowing off my business obligations for a few months and getting a job waiting tables at night or something. I probably won’t do it, but it would be nice to decompress for a little while, make some quick cash, and devote my spare time to skiing and study. Might be a nice break before grad school. But, I have to remind myself that I work alone for a reason. Of course, it might make good fodder for a blog . . .

Goodbye Rowdy . . .

I’m feeling a little bit sad today. Well, maybe not sad. There’s not really any reason to be sad – this is, after all, just bittersweet, I suppose. But, I can’t help but feel sort of down about the fact that the University of Colorado is getting a new Ralphie. And actually, I do have a right to be broken up about it, because I spent three of my four years at CU as a Ralphie Runner. Ralphie IV, or Rowdy, as we called her, was the only buffalo I ever worked with. She was pretty young when I joined the team, but that was more than seven years ago, and as captive bison don’t have a very long life expectancy, she is at the end of her career.

In the past, the team always scrambled to find a new mascot after the current animal passed on. I suppose they wanted to be prepared this time, which is smart, but it’s sad to me that Rowdy’s days on Folsom Field have come to an end. She was kind of my baby. We were, after all, the only girls on the team for a while and we had a special bond. That bond was cemented when she tossed me like hay on pitchfork during one of my first practices, leaving my right leg black and blue from the knee up. From that day on we understood each other a lot better.

I would spend hours upon hours sitting in her pen, doing my homework, while she sniffed around me and grunted, as if to say, “I know you now, and I like you. We’re friends.”

For a long time, I was the only one she trusted to harness her before her runs. The boys didn’t get her and she didn’t get them. They weren’t gentle and sweet and certainly never kissed her slobbery nose like I did. And if they saw me coddle, I would always get scolded – the boys wanted her to be mean and fast.

But she wasn’t mean and she was never as fast as her predecessors, but I believe she possessed much more spirit and personality than any bison that came before or will come after her. She did what she wanted when she wanted to do it – and no one could stand in her way. (Maybe that’s why we got along so well.) And I know that I will always remember this impressive creature, at once gentle and wild, for her great might, tempered by poise and quiet resolve. . . I think I carry a little bit of her spirit with me.

Ski season, where are you?

Sayonara Japan! Hello Vail! I’ve made my way back from the sushi and rice paddies of southern Japan to the Rocky Mountains just in time for ski season. Or, so I thought. Vail was supposed to open tomorrow, but lack of snow has delayed the opening to sometime next week, if we are lucky.

This is kind of a disappointment, considering that my last two seasons here have started off with a bang – powder on opening day! But, that’s unusual, and I’m told that the season before I moved up here, the mountain opened with one run. At least that’s better than no runs, right?

Keystone, A-Basin and Breckenridge are open now, all with just one trail, and everyone wants to go skiing this weekend, but I’d personally rather stick needles in my eyes than ski a snow ribbon of death with thousands of other people who aren’t patient enough to wait for the season to really start.

I think I’ll ride my bike instead, study more GMAT, try to write something worthwhile on my blog, and maybe do a snow dance.

Almost Ski Season

I caught up on everything just in time to leave for Japan! I’ll be writing my Cooltiques blog, www.cooltiques.blogspot.com until I come home, just in time for Vail’s opening. Then, I’ll get to write about epic Colorado powder days - I can't wait!

SWAMPED!

I have never been so swamped in my entire life! There are simply not enough hours in the day to get everything done, so how I’m finding time to update my blog is a mystery. Well, maybe less a mystery than just a great procrastination tool.

But, blogging is part of what I do now, so if I don’t get it done, it hangs over my head just like any other project on my list. I would also like to start my copywriting blog and update my website and my listing on Media Bistro, but those things will definitely have to wait . . . until I’ve completed a few hundred more SEO product descriptions for one client, created new web content for another, written copy for an interactive map for somebody else, finished formatting and editing a technical manual, followed up with a few other clients who have things on the burner, and finally created thoughtful copy for a charitable foundation’s website (my pro bono project).

Anyway, now that I’ve gotten my head to spin uncontrollably, I am signing off and not promising anything to this blog until everything else is off my plate.